I Would Like to Return 2020

Stephen M. Paulsen
2 min readMar 24, 2020

In which the author demands satisfaction.

Photo by Flavio Amiel on Unsplash

Dear Customer Service,

As noted in my previous emails, which you have neglectfully ignored, I would like to return your product, anno domini 2020, which was shipped defective. Admittedly, I should have never accepted a shipment of your product, but in all fairness, I was asleep when it arrived and someone else signed for it.

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Stephen M. Paulsen

Spear Thistle (Cirsium vulgare). Debatably pretty. Lots of thorns. High-functioning depressive guarded by wit, sarcasm, and brutal honesty.